It is no surprise to me that several women aren’t familiar with the concept of being their biggest fan. I am also not perplexed that most feel as if they don’t receive genuine support from their friends and family. I have had several conversations with women who haven’t pursued their own dreams and ideas because they fear what people would say about them.

Lies and thoughts of “what will they say?”, “who am I to do that?”, “nobody will care”, surface their mind, giving them more of a reason to delay or deny the potential that is within them. Many women go through this, and I am here to say that I still do at times myself.

And while I strongly credit all of my successes and growth to God, I also own how my journey of loving myself and fully supporting my ideas has been a big factor in my achievements.

Throughout my journey of pursuing my dreams, accomplishing goals, and connecting with myself, I have learned the importance of being my biggest fan.

Frustrated by the lack of support from others, and disappointed with myself for putting unrealistic expectations on others, becoming my biggest fan has been the most monumental moment in my life. Becoming my ally, my own support system, and my very own cheerleader plays a tremendous part in why I have been able to achieve goals that I have created.

I am grateful that I have a handful of women who authentically support me and even cheer me on consistently. They are VALUED and I love them. But I don’t expect everyone, even some friends, to always support me. I removed this expectation because of several reasons. Why is that? Because people are prone to have bad days, fall into comparison, or they hardly support their own ideas and dreams. How can you expect anyone to stand by your side at all times when they aren’t consistent in believing in themselves? People also go through different seasons in life and don’t emotionally have the bandwidth to give what you may need in your season of life. I know that I have been there myself.

Instead of expecting my tribe to always be my hype woman, I have learned how to be my biggest fan.

If you are frustrated with feeling stagnant and wish to get closer to your own goals in life, then you must learn how to be your biggest fan.

Here are the practical ways that I have used this understanding for my own life in the journey of becoming my biggest fan:

Know what you desire & what you do not want in life

You can’t be a successful hype woman for your life if you don’t even know what you want for your life. Get crystal clear on what you want, write it down, and don’t settle for anything less. I suggest creating a list of 75 things that you desire in life. For example, “summers in Europe”, “morning walks on the beach”, and “a healthy group of likeminded women”.

Stop entertaining draining people and conversations

If you want your mindset and your heart to be full of excitement, peace, joy, and hope, then you need to reduce the amount of draining conversations and encounters that you come across. No, I am not saying to spiritual or positive bypass someone if they truly need to talk. But we all know or have some draining people in our lives who literally make us feel sleepy or unmotivated after talking to them. If you are always spending time with them, it will impact your mindset.

Set incentives for yourself!

One of the ways that I decided to make working out, and growing into a more healthy lifestyle fun for me, was by setting incentives. Anytime that I noticed my discipline increasing, or inches dropping, I treated myself to a new and super cute Fabletics outfit! Being your biggest fan means rewarding yourself for the hard work that you do.

Talk to yourself about the dream or the idea first!

When I knew that I was going to quit my job and travel to Greece a few weeks later, I hyped myself up first. When I knew that I was moving to California, I got pumped about it. When I was close to publishing my book, I celebrated myself. You have to get yourself excited FIRST before speaking to anyone else about it. This also helps should you run across a friend who isn’t supportive or had a long day at work and lacked enthusiasm when you shared your big news.

Stop comparing yourself to sis and embrace your own fruit.

A peach doesn’t compare itself to an apple. A rose doesn’t compare its growth to a sunflower. As women, it is easy to fall into this trap, especially if another woman is within the same lane as us. I understand this and I don’t want to try and act like this is an easy escape. If you have struggled with comparison throughout your life, this will be a journey for you. Start looking within and make a list of all of the incredibly qualities within yourself and list out the values within your friends. You are both welcomed to the table, because there is space for everyone.

Hold yourself accountable

If you are going to be your biggest fan, then you have to practice self awareness. It won’t always be easy; but being honest with yourself and holding yourself to a higher standard is truly important in this journey. Know if you are selling yourself short, going back to bad habits, or limiting yourself. You have to lovingly and gracefully call yourself out, and then commit to moving forward.

You must commit to yourself

I don’t always enjoy waking up at 5:20AM Monday through Friday to wake up, read my Bible, journal, pray, and then workout for 45 minutes. I don’t always feel like running two miles three times a week. Not at all! Yet I do love committing to myself and seeing my discipline grow, and I love seeing new accomplishments and milestones in my progress. You have to commit to yourself when becoming your biggest fan. Whatever it is that you are about to do, make a commitment to you.

So there you have it! Practical ways to strategically becoming your biggest fan, ally, and support system. Remember, this is a journey and a practice. You will grow stronger and more consistent the more that you practice this mindset. Over time, it will come natural to you, and you will have the capability to not only support yourself, but your loved ones as well.